정말이지 아침부터...

똥강아지 새끼마냥 졸졸 따라오질않나
문도 인기척도 없이 노크도 없이 열질않나...

왠 난리법석이 그리 심해 만21살도 넘은 자식이..

정말이지

아침부터 기분잡쳤네...

아침엔 좀 편한게 냅두라고 젠장맞을....

꿈에서 찾아온 너...

오늘 꾼 꿈은 나를 현실보다 꿈을 더 집착하게 하고 가슴하게 했다.

어디서부터 시작해야될까... 그건 기억이 없다..

그러나 그녀는 나를 찾아왔고..난 그녀를 보았다.. 내가 절대 다가갈수없을것같은 분위기를 풍겼던 그녀지만 그녀는 오히려 나에게 손을 뻗어주었다.. 정말 기뻤다. 이렇게 기쁜적은 꿈속이라지만 정말 오랜만에 느끼는 희열이랄까..

그런 그녀가 만나기로 한 다음 날 나를 찾아오지 않았다.

그랬다.. 나에겐 익숙한 일이었고 또 그런 기분이었던 것이다. 그렇지만 심연의 나는 그런 날 애처롭게 바라본 냥 그녀의 이야기를 나에게 전해주었다...

죽었다.

그녀는 나를 찾아오는 길에 뜻밖에 사고로 죽었던 것이다.

그녀의 짧은 영상을 보고..또 꿈인지라 이름마저 잊어버린 난 그녀의 사고당시까지 돌아갈수 있었다. 

울었다.

너무나도 슬펐다. 왜 슬펐던 것일까... 나를 그토록 사랑해준 타인은 여지껏 없어서였을까.

꿈에서나마 나에게 다가온 사람이 그녀였기 때문이랄까.

꿈속에서 오열을했다 그렇지만 역시 오래가지않았다. 하지만 그녀가 생각날 수록 눈물과 오열이 복받쳐올라왔고 난 꿈속에서 흐느꼈다.

나에게 다가온 꿈속의 그녀는 그렇게 사라졌다.

다시 한번 보고싶어 계속 잠을 청했지만 그녀는 끄끝내 나에게 돌아와주지않았다.

감히 다가갈수없을것같던 그 차갑고 고상한 분위기와 달리 나에게 마음을 열어준 그녀는 그렇게 내꿈속에서 묻혀가고... 난 그런 그녀의 꿈을 잊지 않기 위해 이렇게 글을 쓴다.

inception에서 현실보다 꿈을 쫓는 사람들의 기분을 새삼 이해한달까라...

아 오늘도 현실보다 잠을 더 잘뻔했다..

꿈속의 그녀, 정말 미안해요.. 많이 아팠죠? 그때 같이 있었어야 했는데 얼마나 무서웠을까요..미안해요..미안해요...미안해요...정말..

Learning through profess(ional)or's aspect

Thank you Mel. I was able to expand my impression on both Cheese and Ekiga not only by facts with more details you posted but also your personal opinions. Although we have never met or talked, your post was very inspiring.

Other than simple facts that the class discussed on Cheese and Ekiga, concepts behind each project is really impressive. These projects encourage students like myself to indulge on projects based on choosing either of two things: following legacy or creating something new.

Personally, creating something new seems more tasteful. However, following legacy has higher rate of success. Of course, it's always hard to build up an empire from a dust. It doesn't mean the other one's any easier than the other, catching up to user's expectation is always first priority as well. For example, Ekiga seems very trustworthy for its well organized homepage. As for result, I could see there are a lot of people who'd donate for such project!! Free yet, so organized!

24hr surveillance?

Ok... How do I begin? As a part of the third assignment of Software Engineering class, I joined GNOME's mailing list. I was quite hesitant which mailing list I should subscribe for. Joining Cheese or Ekiga community seem just too plain. Hence, I've decided on joining Board-Mentor list. Although it may be too general, I believe I do need a mentor figure in computer science industry that I can associate with. Furthermore, I thought it would be beneficial to the class as well.

Second, I joined a GNOME IRC channel to browse around and have a glimpse of its environment. To be quite honest, I haven't been on IRC for a such long time that it still feels new to me. I barely remember any. While browsing through the channel, although there wasn't much going on at the moment, I was glad to see that people in the channel are very enthusiastic. On top of that, the chat macro makes the conversation more interesting. How can I put this.... It was like mmorpg dimension in text only ha;;;
Don't get me wrong, it is a lot more productive hahaha.


All in all, I'm very glad to be back to this material, and it is another great opportunity.

It's a small step...

How should I start..?

Yes, it's finally here, the last year of my undergraduate program.
It has been a great ordeal for me throughout my entire life so far.

Yet, I still don't have a clue about what it really means to lead my career as a computer programmer.
Yes, I do have a lot of doubts in myself and the world outside of college with full of other programmers.

Therefore, before I earn my bachelor's degree in computer science, I set two goals as I will study with Dr. Heidi Ellis and fellow classmates.

1. To become confident in myself on computer science
    - Every time, I conduct computer science, I still see myself as a beginner, and yes, in many perspectives, I am indeed. However, this time, I would like to take this time to mature myself in this field to set my first small step to what's coming ahead of me.

2. To see a bigger picture.
     - I don't plan to be just a programmer for the rest of life. There should be more than that, and I believe I can do it. Therefore, I expect to learn what it likes to work with others to accomplish tasks on in-class or off-class materials from this course. I believe it will be a great opportunity for myself to shape myself in different aspects on computer industries or even, corporation size.


In other words, I plan to achieve 200% of this courses expected outcome, and this passage shall be a promise to myself.